The key to hospitality is knowing that people remember how you make them feel.
My late brother, Jim Lewellis, was in the midst of writing a memoir when he tragically passed in June 2022.
I recall sharing with him a glowing recommendation of David Chang’s 2020 memoir, Eat A Peach, because it reminded me so much of him.
Jim and Dave were born less than a year a part. They were kindered spirits.
They both love New York City and spent some formative years there.
Dave as the founder of Momofuku Noodle Bar, a now household name that almost didn’t make it, and Jim as the bartender at Josh DeChellis’ Sumile, among more buttoned-up adventures at Goldman Sachs and Needham & Company (strange, I know — I told you he was writing a memoir :).
They both openly suffered from severe psychiatric illness and a tendency towards substance abuse while also making remarkable contributions creatively and intellectually.
When I sent Jim the recommendation of Dave’s memoir, he replied with an email with simple subject line, “Dave,” that I later learned was an excerpt from a draft of his memoir.
“I had the pleasure of serving many well-known chefs. However, my most memorable service was with a guy who hadn’t quite made it yet.
Usually if we had a VIP chef in the house, I’d get a briefing on exactly who he/she was and what they liked (e.g., “This is Scott Bryan. Do ___, don’t do ___.”)
I didn’t get a briefing for this guy, who appeared to be roughly my age. Nobody even told me he was a chef, but I asked him if he was. He smiled and replied, “Yeah, how did you know?”
I pointed to the burns across his thick forearms, and he laughed.
We talked throughout his entire tasting menu. I told him about Erika working at Craftbar, and he mentioned that he had previously worked at Craft, which was Craftbar’s fancier older brother where I had my first serious New York meal four years earlier.
I wish I could remember more of what we talked about, but we laughed a lot, and I do remember how he made me feel. He related to me as a fellow human being rather than just a server.
Before he left, he invited me and Erika to his restaurant for lunch the next day. He wrote the following on a bar napkin that I wish I still had: Momofuku – 1st Ave between 10th and 11th.
I came home that night and told Erika about this cool guy Dave who invited us to his restaurant for lunch.
We showed up at Momofuku the next day around 1:00pm, and we were among very few people there. It had been open for less than a year and had yet to gain traction with the lunch crowd.
He was super busy in the kitchen but still came out to talk with us for a few minutes. The broth and everything in it was absurdly good, and we were waved off when we attempted to pay.
We left the customary cash tip for his staff (roughly the amount of what our tab would’ve been before tax and tip, which is the same he did for me the night before).
I wouldn’t learn that his last name was Chang until several years later.”
People remember how you make them feel.
